I was reading the New Zealand Herald online today {as I do most every day}, when the absolute bullshit articles in the Life & Style section led me to a wondrous ‘AHA’ moment. Don’t worry peeps, you don’t have to subject yourself to the torment of actually reading said articles, I took one for the team and will fill you in.
Lets peruse the headlines shall we?
- Twenty ways to live a little glamorously. Cool, I thought, it’s awesome when you can have a wee splurge or treat yourself to a manicure or get your eyebrows done. These things make me feel quite glam! Yeah no. If you want to live a little more glamorously the Herald suggests you pick up some silk PJ’s $299 EACH PIECE. Or, get a 24 carat Gold Leaf Facial next time you’re in town, or why not get your next Louis Vuitton purchase monogrammed? Shall we move on?
- Next on this little list of winners, was today’s ever-so-informative guide on ‘Turning yourself into a VIP‘. Yus. I have no idea how to be a VIP! Turns out, the author has given us plebs some tips from her own home to follow; Take notes, all we have to do is add some Rose Bath Oil $185 to your nightly soak and definitely spend no less than $55 a piece on any make-up item Got that?
- The Trifecta of High-brow posts concludes with a directive titled “Luxury is how you feel, not how much you spend”. Oh of course, you just went over that in the last two posts when you spent the GDP of a small African nation on your bath oil and candle combo {Despite the title of this article the author points us to a candle costing $840!!!}.
Reading this rubbish made me realize how completely out of touch with New Zealand women this newspaper really is. Do you even know anyone who owns genuine Louis Vuitton? Does it matter? No.
This is why we read blogs. Our lives are no longer represented by our own national newspaper. Our previously endearing women’s magazines are now glossy celeb look-books with a few token ‘Real Life’ stories in the nether region. The relevance of blogs and their authors are what keeps us reading. Viva and the likes have lost the plot and suffice to cater to the women in a scarce handful of the lofty Auckland suburbs.
Are we all supposed to aspire to want $599 Garden dresses? Is that what modern kiwi society expects? Of course not, you would get laughed right out of kindy if you rocked up looking like that. Let’s not mention the looks at the Rugby club. We have almost been seduced completely by the Kardashians, the It Girls, the fake nails and spray tans of the reality shows, we are perilously close to the edge of our unique Kiwi femme-identity. I think it’s time we reclaim it and celebrate how awesome being ‘Down to Earth’ really is {you LOVE my Swanndri don’t you?!}.
