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The Best Nest goes to Rarotonga!

August 29, 2015
By: Melissa

Kia orana!
I’m sitting on a plane, heading off to our family holiday in Rarotonga right now, approx 3 hrs into our flight and my second glass of bubbly is finally starting to take the edge off.
In typical Jack fashion, I feel like all prep for this vacation has been totally last minute and fly-by-the-seat-of-our-pants.
That is not to say it was a spur of the moment trip.

All week people have been saying, ‘omg, you’re SO lucky!’, as if we won a prize or something. The truth is, we have been saving for this holiday for well over a year. Last winter we decided that 2015 would be different. We would be among those who escape winter for some tropical sun. I determined what we could afford to save weekly and we put it away in a separate bank account. Dave needed a new car a couple of months ago and instead of going over budget (which would have affected our savings plan) we only purchased what we could pay cash for. Hence he’s driving a small nana-style hatchback lol. Goals baby.
I have no idea if I have packed everything we need, taking 2 kids to the islands for 12 days is daunting and Dave and I’ve been running on 5 hours sleep each night for a couple of weeks so lord knows what made it into our many bags lol.
I do know that both boys have been amazing so far and this holiday is all about making memories with them. I’m so grateful to Dave for working so hard to make this happen and letting me squirrel away the money as it comes in – I’m the master of compartmental budgeting lol.
I’ve got some super cool partnerships lined up with tourism operators in Rarotonga so I’ll be blogging about the very best family-friendly experiences the Cook Islands have to offer, so please follow along here or on Instagram to see what we’re getting up to xx

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An Extra Pair of Ears

August 24, 2015
By: Melissa

Sometimes big corporates do the right thing by the little guys. Sometimes this goes unnoticed and that’s totally fine as well.

I had never heard of Jetstar’s Flying Start Programme until about 3 months ago when I was extremely humbled to have been invited to join the judging panel. We convene quarterly to deliberate and award a deserving community group or organization a massive $30,000 grant ($15,000 cash and $15,000 travel) to help them keep on trucking and spread the love amongst more and more kiwis just like you and me.

This quarter, we couldn’t go past the opportunity to help kickstart Hearing Dogs New Zealand’s pilot programme ‘Companion Dogs for Children’.

One in ten New Zealanders is deaf or hearing impaired and Hearing Dogs New Zealand delivers the important service of training assistance dogs to aid and guide them. Five and a half year old Tom Wilkinson from New Plymouth was one of the first recipients of the ‘Companion Dogs for Children’ programme. I had the pleasure of chatting to his mum Jo last week and finding out what life is like for a hearing impaired child and just how a companion dog can make a huge difference to a little person.

Mum Jo describes five and a half year old Tom as a cheeky wee fellow who’s as full of mischief and fun as most other kids his age. The not so obvious difference is that Tom was born profoundly deaf. This is often overlooked as he’s incredibly articulate, but without his two cochlea implants Tom can’t hear a thing.

I was completely unaware that dogs can be trained to assist the hearing impaired. Tom’s Dad initially heard about the Companion Dogs for Children program and after finding out about the many ways in which a companion dog would benefit Tom, the family signed up for the program. Initially Tom’s young dog Albert (a silky cavoodle) would visit the family home during weekends as part of his training. The two continue with ongoing soundwork homework now that Albert has been placed permanently with the Wilkinson family.

When I asked Jo to describe some of the day-to-day challenges faced by Tom, she mentioned something I had never considered; though Tom’s implants mean he can hear and function in the classroom and in other social situations, all sounds are transmitted equally. What this means is chalk on the blackboard, a discussion at the back of the classroom and his teacher talking are all reaching Tom at the same volume. Simultaneously. Can you imagine? With no ‘filter’ so to speak, the processing required for Tom to meaningfully listen is exhausting and requires massive amounts of concentration.

Albert is trained to assist Tom in situations where he cannot rely on his implants. During the night for example, Tom removes his implants so will rely on Albert to notify him of a fire, an alarm or any other disturbance which would reach him aurally. Albert is also being trained to respond to sequencing cues to assist in communication. For example if Jo needed to alert Tom to to something she will call Albert and say “Go to Tom”, once Albert has reached him, Tom will say to Albert “Where is it?” and Albert will lead Tom back to Jo. How awesome is that!

I can’t wait to hear more about how Tom and Albert develop their relationship and further their training together. In the meantime, if you would like to find out more about the Hearing Dogs New Zealand program head over to their website www.hearingdogs.org.nz where you can make a donation. These guys receive no government funding so public donations and programmes like the Jetstar Flying Start grant help keep them running.

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The Marmite Fingers Metaphor

August 12, 2015
By: Melissa

I love Marmite and so do both of my little kiwi-mericans. The great Marmageddon of 2012 hit particularly hard in our house and I haven’t really looked back since toast turned black again and we could eat Marmite EVERY DAMN DAY.

But I realised something yesterday as I was making my breakfast toast. I’ve been holding out on Nixon. He sprinted into the kitchen as soon as he heard the fridge open, as he does about 71 times per day {food, hangry, massive 99th percentile boy-child} and he asked for toast. His second breakfast to be sure, but that’s not uncommon.

He wanted Marmite toast like me. My gut instinct said NO! Marmite toast in the hands of a toddler is like live ammunition in the hands of a toddler. Never a good idea. As I thought about it a little more I realised that this whole Marmite should-I-shouldn’t-I conversation I was having in my head was a bit of a metaphor for how I’ve been parenting lately.

And how I’ve been parenting lately is mainly based on one key technique;

Avoidance.

Not heard of that one? No-one’s written a book about avoidance parenting yet? That’s because it’s what the lazy mama’s do, the sucky parents that don’t bust out the finger paints every day (or realistically once a week as there would be other amaze craft activities planned on the remaining 6 days of course!). I’ve been avoiding giving Nix Marmite on his toast because Nixon is a Category 5 Hurricane on legs who lives in my house and is destroying it window sill by window sill. Add Marmite to the mix and all hope is surely lost.

It’s true I’m feeling a little over-wrought by the chaos that is our family life at the moment. I think in an effort to simplify at least some parts of my day I am totally avoiding the little Marmite-Moments, the sweet, messy pleasures that make us stop, relax and enjoy these fleeting childhood moments. I’m stressed, tired and overwhelmed to the point of anxiety right now but I’m also frantically in love with my life and my little people. The dogs, meh, but the boys, Dave, my Mum and our friends are lovely and I’m so lucky to have them helping me along.

We need to make some changes. The finish of rugby season and my role as team manager will bring an end to some obligations and free up 3 days a week plus we are heading away on holiday soon which couldn’t be more perfectly timed quite frankly.

Does anyone else feel like their head is going to explode daily or is it just me? Maybe the cure is more Marmite lol.

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The Tiny Dictator; Our 2yo is running our household.

August 2, 2015
By: Melissa

It pains me to write that as, if I’m being honest, I’m a total control freak, and I have lost control in my own house.

We’ve all fallen victim to a smiling assassin. 16kg of pure cute that does what he likes, bites whomever he chooses, throws tables and stools willy-nilly, draws on walls and furniture when the mood takes him, rides dogs when he feels the urge, demands cookies before breakfast and snaps his fingers for an Ipad and can justify his outlandish behaviour by batting his eyelashes at you and explaining his actions with the eloquence of a preschooler twice his age.

We are in so much trouble.

It sounds naive, but this rather unacceptable state of affairs has crept up on us as over time. Certain behaviours have become the norm over a period of a few months, mostly since Nixie’s last hospital stay, until things have reached their zenith over the past 7 days and I’m at my wits end trying to contain the ‘baby’ when he goes into hulk-mode.

There are many factors that have combined in a perfect storm of parenting fails;

The 8.5 year age gap that left us all gooey over a new baby after so long
The Big Brother factor – Ethan is also all gooey over little bro and these two boys love nothing more then going mental and hyping each other up with daily wrestling matches and games of indoor rugby……..{the Crown Lynn and the dogs live in FEAR!}
Nix is the baby that arrived after my Dad died > insert all the sad feelings
Nix is the baby that arrived after a miscarriage > see above
Nix is the baby born with a congenital disease {read about his Hirschsprung’s Disease here} and as such has had mega-parenting-sympathy on his side after multiple hospital stays and major surgery
Nix is the baby with the longest eyelashes in the world, the biggest personality and the most beautiful blue eyes and bung ear you’ve ever seen plus he’s ridiculously smart and funny.

He has us wrapped around his chubby fingers and he knows it. He has his fake cry on point, when I ask him if he’s watching people unwrap toys on YouTube he says “No Mummy” and quickly switches back to Tayo or diggers, he has said the word yes one time in his whole life – I’m pretty sure he’s actually allergic to any form of willing compliance at this stage. A lot of this can definitely be attributed to his recent stay in Starship. Traumatic things happened to him in order to get him well again and receive the medicines he needed, but it fuelled his instinct to resist and to fight. He still hasn’t stopped fighting. Every diaper change is a massive ordeal and can be really physically demanding. We liken it to alligator wrestling if you’re wondering.

But, Nixon {#nonixonno} needs to be disciplined. I say that in the nicest possible way one can say that one’s two year old needs discipline, but we can’t deny it any longer. The child is on the fast track to the naughty step and it’s time for Dave and I to step up and get down to business.

I can’t write all of this though without recognizing Nixie’s beautiful nature, compassion (usually towards his brother) and his gift for making you feel like you are the most amazing being in the universe. His beautiful smile reaches me when little else can and reminds me of all that’s good. He’s also a freaky FREAK with numbers and can tackle like a five year old who has no time for rippa rugby.

Heart melt Nixon.

Now BEHAVE!

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Just. Be. Nice.

July 25, 2015
By: Melissa

This week I was privy (loathe to use that word as it sounds like a privilege which was definitely NOT the case in this instance!) to some communication that was just so nasty and unnecessary that had it been intended for me, I would have instantly burst into tears.

Perhaps I’m a bit precious at the moment, but I’m pretty sure my gut reaction on this one was right on the money.

Adults bully too. We may have to hide the effect this has on us sometimes in the interest of being professional, being a grown-up or keeping cool for the kids sake, but it does happen and it sucks. Adults should know better and what is behind the bullying often runs way deeper than the standard playground insecurities of our kids. Acting with the intention of demeaning someone and making them feel inferior in front of their peers is about as base as it gets and says more about the vitriolic person choosing to act in this manner then it does about the intended target.

I simply cannot understand nor tolerate people whose default setting is bitch (and I use this term in a non-gender specific context). What is the point? The lesson that you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar seems to have escaped so many. I was given this pearl of wisdom from my husband very soon after we began dating and it changed my life as much as he did.

Here’s some advice; slap the sucked-lemon look off your face, put a smile on your dial and have a nice fucking day ok?

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On Being a Blogger with Depression

July 18, 2015
By: Melissa

Living with depression and anxiety of course means vastly different things to different people.

But, over time, it also means different things to those who live with it; each month, week, shit…….even each day, I can find myself mired in different manifestations of the same old thing. It sucks for me and I’m sure it totally sucks for my family who have to soldier on while Mum’s head is spinning.

How ironic then, that without even digging down too deeply (and psychoanalysing myself even more than I already do!) I know with conviction that what’s feeding this recent influx of anxiety is the one thing that used to bring me so much joy and creative freedom. This blog.

I’m writing this at 6.30am on a Saturday morning. I awoke suddenly, minutes ago as if I never actually slept. Kicked out of my precious and desperately needed slumber by one thought. Blog related of course. What. The. Fuck.

See, this blogging game is a serious hustle right now. The thing is and (revelation!) I’ve just realised this right this second, I’ve been hustling for all of the wrong reasons and all of the wrong people. Blogging in New Zealand has evolved massively over the past 18 months and it’s on the cusp of being a semi-lucrative little ‘hobby’. Or perhaps more than a hobby. Maybe even a ………. job?

When you have a ‘job’, there is someone paying your wages. The Man, so to speak. When a blogger, ie ME is working for The Man, guess what? More often than not it means I’m not working, writing, creating for ME. Or you for that matter.

This gives me the shits. Oh and massive anxiety, by the way.

I feel like I’m actually buried in obligations to people and brands, the trouble is, I’m not sure if these obligations actually exist or whether I’m just creating mad-precedents and expectations of myself that are a bit OTT. I remember a couple of years ago when one of my favourite bloggers Talia, who was totally on top of her game at the time – so I thought – announced that she was done with all of her commercial relationships and was just settling in to blog for herself again. I remember thinking “Whaaaaat?” But, Talia, someone sent you FREE stuff, isn’t your life complete now?

Bwahahaha. Oh how I laugh now.

Because I get it. And it’s totally doing my head in.

This little tour on the depression bus is almost entirely blogging related and I hate that something I love so much and am really, really proud of building is beginning to build me a little prison in my head. I’m just not sure I can keep up with the online-Joneses anymore. The pace this industry is moving is so fast and hectic that it’s entirely possible to lose yourself and everything you believe in in the process of ‘making it’, of getting ‘invited’, of receiving ALL the stuff, of being on ALL the lists.

I brainstormed the things I used to love blogging about – when I had the time – ie before the ‘obligations’ began to strangle me;

I love cooking, photographing and blogging recipes. I was reminded of this yesterday as I finished a sponsored post involving baking. I miss this.
I love just writing about LIFE. I am reminded of this EVERY DAMN DAY when I don’t write at all.
I love crafting. I used to knit, crochet, make rad antler necklaces out of FIMO. I NEED more of this.
Wardrobe Wednesday. That was fun. It challenged me to actually get dressed up and shop my closet. Does anyone still do this?
I love taking beautiful pictures
I used to love the blogging community. I don’t anymore. I miss you guys xx

These things may not be SEO friendly or currently kicking ass on Google Trends but they made me happy, and that’s got to count for something right?

I don’t know where this post leads, but I do know where I begin. That’s with my family. Secondly, the answer is right here in front of me, it’s in these words on this white page of pixels. Words that are true and are me and that I felt compelled, rather than obligated to write.

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Sunday in the City

July 13, 2015
By: Melissa

The antarctic-like temps that have been plaguing Auckland over the past week have meant the kids and I have been hibernating a bit more than normal. Hard not to do when the boys and I all succumbed to a wicked head cold and Ethan was shaking off a nasty bout of bronchitis. It’s very ironic that the freezing temps are actually caused by a massive high, but this is also resulting in the most stunning, blue sky winter days you could possibly hope for. Better than rain right?

I needed to get out of the house yesterday and enjoy some family time. Dave was away for work three days last week so we really needed to regroup as a family and enjoy spending some time together – outside!

Typically, no one had anything they particularly wanted to do or places they wanted to go so we headed to the city and decided to cruise Wynyard Quarter. Parking on Beaumont Street is easy and free on Sundays, it’s also right at the playground end of Wynyard Quarter so easy for little legs. Nix was riding his little motorbike and Ethan was cruising on his scooter as the wharf, bridge and walkways are so much fun for the kids to enjoy on wheels.

We spent a little time at the playground but I think the boys were delirious over being given some space to roam so we hit the pavement again and meandered up the wharf, stopping to stare down at the decidedly emerald harbour, admiring the bright yellow tugs, the dogs, the tourists and just enjoying a bit of bustle.

It was time for lunch soon enough and because the boys were clamoring for a treat, we had dessert first, settling on some insane gelato from Wynyard Quarter’s Gelatiamo. Nixon’s Vanilla cup was classic and gorgeous while E opted for a cone of beautiful pink marshmallow gelato. Not knowing where we’d end up after that, we wandered through the fish market, introducing Nix to the joys of dead sea creatures. He loved it of course.

Onwards to Sal’s Pizza for lunch. There were restaurants a plenty which Dave and I have been dying to try, but we had two fading boys and we wanted everyone to enjoy a speedy, happy lunch with zero stress. Tip: If you’re in a hurry at Sal’s ordering slices rather than a whole pie is super quick.

The morning was perfection.

Just thinking about how cruisy and relaxed it was brings a smile to my face even today. Great days do not have to be overplanned, sometimes all you need to do is hop in the car and drive.

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Blogger Life | Nespresso Breakfast with Josh Emett

July 4, 2015
By: Melissa

Last week was a bit of whirlwind of blogging events and launches, but there was one standout. On Wednesday morning I braved rush hour traffic and enjoyed a gorgeous, intimate breakfast hosted by the amaze Josh Emett for Nespresso.

If you’re a coffee lover, then you’ll identify with the importance and ritual of that first coffee of the day. Of course we’re all different, I’m sure my chaotic, morning caffeine hit looks nothing like the slower, more considered approach of some, or the carefully orchestrated coffee-on-the-go of those off to an early workout or simply about to begin their daily commute.

Acknowledging the various ways New Zealanders fit coffee into their mornings, Nespresso has distinguished a range of a.m. archetypes; The Early Achiever, The Snoozer, The Weekender, The Zen Hunter and The Mover. Internationally renowned, Michelin star awarded chef Josh Emett has created five recipes, each perfectly paired with a Nespresso Grand Cru to complement the routines and tastes of each morning archetype.

I definitely associate with The Weekender. Our week-days and Saturdays (rugby) are so manic that our whole family looks forward to the slow pace of a Sunday and a relaxed, cooked breakfast. Josh showcased his Weekender dish at the Nespresso Breakfast this week and then we got to whip it up ourselves! Watching such an accomplished, professional chef cook is treat enough, but cooking one of his recipes (with him to assist!) and consequently realizing how quick and easy it is to prepare truly nutritious, delicious food was such a great experience. Following our 10/10 efforts in the kitchen, the attending media sat down together and enjoyed our amazing Chorizo, Tomato and Paprika Free-range Egg Bake (grab the recipe here). I’m in LOVE with this dish, cannellini beans are my new favorite ingredient – watch out Meat-Free Monday!

This fabulous morning has got me so excited about coffee and even more excited about pairing food with coffee. Our delicious chorizo egg bake was accompanied by the Rosabaya de Colombia Grand Cru cappuccino and it was divine. Next month I’ll be creating my own Weekender recipe to match (hopefully!) the flowery and fruity notes of the Rosabaya de Columbia. I’m a new Nespresso aficionado so would love to hear about your favourite Grand Crus as well as any hints and tips you have for me as I ditch the carbonated caffeine and begin my love affair with coffee.

Nespresso Fact: The aluminium capsules which are responsible for capturing all the freshness and flavours of each freshly roasted coffee selection can be recycled! Simply drop them off at your closest Nespresso Boutique, in Auckland this is located in Newmarket.

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My Baby is two! Happy Birthday Nixie xx

July 3, 2015
By: Melissa

Two years after a baby is born, they turn two. Strange but true.

What you never expect is just how quickly this happens, how every day feels like they were just born yesterday, like you just woke up and became a mother of two boys um ………. last week wasn’t it?

I called Nix Baby Hippo before he was born as I knew he was going to be huge (I was right) and huge he still is. I think his size has a lot to do with how old he seems, his ridiculous vocab and sentence composition also contributes to the impression that he is much older than a newly minted two year old.

Everywhere we go people fall in love with him. His personality is just like his physical self, larger than life and ready to take charge of any situation. Nixon will eat anything, talk to anyone, take on any playground, animal or obstacle and do it with a smile and the thank-you-you’re-welcome combo of his trademark “kill you with kindness while I steal your toy” manners.

More than anyone else, Nixon has his big brother wrapped around his little finger. Ethan was so excited about his little brothers birthday today he could barely sleep himself last night! They have the most lovely relationship and it’s increasingly obvious what an important role Ethan is going to play in Nixon’s life in the years ahead – vice versa of course!

Predictably, Nix was suitably spoiled. I’m a shopping monster when it comes to the kids birthdays and this year fell in love with the New Zealand made vintage toy brand Fun Ho! Nixon loves these aluminium die-cast trucks and diggers so much that it was time to invest some money and get him some of his own. We decided to skip the party this year. Or, to be honest, it wasn’t really a decision, more like, oh shit, Nixon’s birthday is next week and we don’t have any time to plan a party! Life has been ridiculously busy lately, there is always one of us coming and going and it just felt right to let it go and do without a big “occasion” this year.

What I did do was take a little mate and his lovely Mum to Kiwi Valley and we spent a perfect morning wandering around the farm, feeding the animals, we had horse and tractor rides, played on the playground and enjoyed a relaxed lunch at the cafe. No stress, and barely anyone else there! The last time I went there was when Ethan was a similar age and I loved it just as much this time as I explored with Nixon.

Parenting a two year old is akin to living on the edge of your seat, in a car, with no seat belts, driven by a crazy person who has an aversion to braking. You never, ever know what’s around the corner and lest you forget, there is no rhyme nor reason to their reaction to ANYTHING. Be prepared, yes. But be prepared to be unprepared because I seriously never know what Nixon is going to throw at me (or the walls/ceiling) from day to day. Most of the time I leave the house running, well, moving as fast as I can whilst herding ~~cats~~ Nixon, the mess we leave in our wake is unfathomable, I always forget something and have to return to the house and I’m invariably late. Which is a Melissa No-No. I’ve done it before with Ethan and this (last) time around I’m trying to let it go a bit more and adore these fleeting toddler years before they disappear and I’m left wondering who I was doing all that vacuuming for anyway?!

I love you more than you’ll ever imagine, baby boy. Happy 2nd Birthday Nixon xx

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Tough Gal 2015. I did it, in body if not mind

June 29, 2015
By: Melissa

The irony of completing this years Tough Gal challenge to close out one of the most difficult weeks I’ve had in recent memory is not lost on me I assure you. The poignancy of it, the lovely group of women I did the event with and, let’s be honest, the fact that I fucking killed it with no training (!) has helped strengthen my resolve this week and get my head back in the game. At the very least I am aiming not to cry for the next seven days!

The past week was a nightmare of scheduling, events, appointments, meetings, sports, kindy visits, play dates, volunteer obligations, a tragic funeral and a running race. Combine that with a toddler who is transitioning out of his daily nap and the resulting sleep schedule has seen me up in the middle of the night multiple evenings or just sleeping beside Nixie’s cot on the floor, passed out from sheer exhaustion.

Let’s throw in a little bit of blog drama shall we? I learnt a lesson this week (I actually learnt it twice fml!) and it’s one that any aspiring blogger needs to learn quick and fast; nothing online belongs to you. Your ideas, your posts, your creative vision, something you’ve worked so hard on for months……it can all be taken, tweaked, a new label put on it and it’s gone. Anything you post online is fair game and there’s nothing you can do about it. Don’t be fooled, the blogging game in New Zealand is small. Yes, it’s growing everyday and there are beautiful friendships and support networks that have blossomed as a result, but don’t let anyone tell you it’s not competitive because it damn sure is. Everyone wants a piece of the pie and if you thought a particular pie was yours then you better think again sister.

At the end of the day it doesn’t matter too much. It hurts but it doesn’t matter. Like anything, concerning yourself excessively with what others are doing is only a disservice to yourself. Bringing the focus back inward has helped me just ‘survive’ the week and move on.

But the Tough Gal event was all kinds of amaze!

I was so nervous, I almost threw up. I overcame this by saying to my new-found friend Rebecca, “let’s do this, let’s go right to the front of the starting tunnel, charge it and get it done – fast!”. The end result wasn’t exactly fast in my opinion, 47 minutes for the 6km course, but I was pretty happy with my placing of 31st/316 in the Under 39 Female division and 158/742 finishers. Hell yes!

I have never been so dirty in my entire life. I’m pretty good at just embracing whatever environment I’m in. I don’t stress about sand at the beach (I mean, how can you? You’re at the BEACH!), and I literally just dived into the mud run and got on with it. Crawling over the mud was way faster in most instances then trying to wade through it, next year I’ll wear some rugby boots because lack of traction on the slopes is where valuable time is lost. The second half was the best. The very large mud obstacles were behind me and there was a long flat stretch where I could stretch my legs and just run, until hitting one of the man-made obstacles of course! These were cake though compared to the mud in the first half. The last 3 km’s go so much faster than the first 3 thank god, but finishing with a mudslide into an icy pool was a bit rough!

The day was gorgeously sunny and *almost* warm-ish. I can’t imagine how much more difficult this event would be in the rain, which you pretty much have to bank on seeing as it’s held in winter! I consider myself very lucky to have gotten my first mud event under my belt in dry conditions.

Thanks so much to Rosie, from Fit Mama for organizing her team and letting me be a part of it. It was beyond awesome to meet you amazing ladies and knock the bastard off yesterday – in more ways then one!

Have a great week everyone xx

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